Ive had this page for two days, and each time I enter it, to edit it and change things around, so that everyone can see it, I end up abadoning it as I cant see the screen any more. 

Having to do all these things for you Dad is      breaking my heart... I shouldnt be doing this    yet... I should be sat in your room with a cuppa as always... listening to you moaning about anything and everything... Id love to be able to do  that now.. Even if i couldnt breathe at the time!

I’ll be in the same building as you tomorrow,    yet i cant be near you or give you a hug!!! Thatiis the hardest thing to get my head round! I will get to see you in a few days, its been too long  already, but im scared of seeing you for the       first time ever. I dont want you to not be able to say hi, but of course I know you wont.. I want   to hear you ask what shit Kaycie’s been upto    now lol and how is Jakey doing.. Would love to hear you talking to Nevaéh like you often would and moan at Ashleigh for nicking all of your      paper... 

I want to watch another animal documentary   with you, I hated it when i was younger, yet I    find myself drawn to them as an adult, and sit   there with my children now doing the same!

Todays been a hard day, and I wish it wasnt     because you werent here. I wish you were there to say “it’ll be alright love” like you used too,    and show off your trademark dimples that often betrayed your words!

I miss you dad and cant get my head round the fact i cant speak with you anymore...

You cant think youve escaped.. I know you’re     listening, you just wont bloody reply... but hey nothing’s chaged much right!!

Love you eternally

Rho xxx